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Home with the family parents & sisters just came back from virgina so hanging with my #1 mommy Zion's Grandma :) and the little brother watching law and order how boring is this! Although I love them very much I'd rather be out enjoying life with my big sis & friends , but guess what .. . I'm PREGNANT! That's right big belly & miserable I am , everyone's saying how I'm ruining their summer plans and how unhappy they are that I'm pregnant, but hey I've been hearing this from day one what can I possibly do now. Its annoying to hear a bunch of negative things when your happy about your little blessing, although I know the situation shouldn't be right now at this time of my life, I am 8 months now so its not going away! I'm going to have to deal with the I wish you never had him for the rest of my life but I feel in my heart that Zion is worth everything that I've endured, he's my blessing and I love him. I just can't wait until he gets to love me back! I'm an emotional wreck over this, I just wish I had a friend through this all.

A Trip To The Docotors .. .

So now that i'm futher into this pregnancy me and my doctor see a lot of each other. Now I see him every two weeks soon it'll be every week. Going to the doctor is fun for me because i get to see my little angel grow. He is getting  bigger each week it's amazing how fast hes growing. My appointment was Thursday June 9th , it was 103 degrees that day and I had to do a lot of running around for Prince Zion. My mom didn't want me out their in that weather but I feel as if I have to do what I have to do no matter what. So she put me in a cab and gave me money for food and lots of water. One thing about my mom is she'll be their by my side no matter what I truly feel I have the best mother in the world. She does everything for anybody, but she makes sure me and my siblings have everything before she worries about herself. One thing for sure is were never broke we always have some type of money in our pockets. I hope I'm just like her when I'm a parent. Back to my appointment, Prince Zion is now 3 pounds 6 oz and hes really big and soooo adorable! He looks just like his mommy and his uncle ( my brother ) but he has his dad's head :( I'm worried on how it's going to come out. It's almost over and day and night i'm feeling it so yes this will be my first and last child. I don't know how woman can do it more then once, I haven't even had him yet but I can't be pregnant another time I hate it forreal! I'm sure my prince will be worth it all though.

Im truly too fat for this!!

So today is like a billion degrees and tomorrow is suppose to be hotter!!!! W T F ! It's not funn at all walking around with this big old belly in this heat! imagine with the rest of my summer will be like -___- i have summer school it begins in july and i'm due in august im soo worried about having the baby before I finish summer school. So through this heat I will be making weekly trips to the doctor and going to school it's not going to be easy but it has to be done

MY BABY SHOWER IS NEXT MONTH!!!!

July 24th is the day and i'm super excited , just because toby and I families will be their also some friends and I know that it will be fun and i'll get more stuff for Prince Zion :) So far I have the dj and a place , I need a chair , decorations , a cake ( yuuuum ] and food i'm searching hard for the perfect cake it has to be delicious since i'm huge and LOVE cake! Our family is making food and were going to buy food that's already made. I'm going to have a whiney the pooh theme although toby says " that's gay " he has such an ignorant boy brain! hopefully Zion doesn't have his brain! Anyway I'm super excited for this shower I hope it goes according. :)

This Life Isn't Fear!!!

okay soo i'm nearly 8 months pregnant and i can't do a thing!!! No parties of course , no one wants to hang out with a pregnant girl so only thing for me to do is school, hang with my boyfriend, parenting class on Saturday and church on Sunday. Once in a while my family will take me somewhere or i'll go somewhere with toby's family, but my life has become so BORING :(. Toby sneaks out to a party once in a while or go chill with his friends and even though its not often it pisses me off! I'm stuck and he's free how's that fear we did this together and i'm the only one suffering. I mean I know staying in the house with me seven days a week isn't always fun but hey I'M DOING IT!! I just hate this sometimes and I always say why this , why now! i'll be 18 years old while Zion will be two months. What 18 year old wants to be tied down with a child! Not one, but i've done this to myself and I will take full responsibility no matter how tough it gets. I'm just sad at the moment because of the effect it has on me and how it changed my life so far, but i'm deeply in love with my unborn!

Ups & Downs .. .

As a teenager it's normal to have family feuds and boyfriend issues , and I'm a very emotional dramatic teen age girl! I consider myself normal but if you was to speak to my parents or boyfriend they'd tell you something totally different. Although I
Am an extremely sweet caring respectable ( at times ) young lady if things aren't my way I will become another person. My family always say I have two different personalities and their right I do. It's not my fault though I can't help who I've become , but I'm not that bad but I do hope Zion isn't like his mother I hope he's opposite of his parents. I think all parents wish their kids to be different and better then they were, but we as individuals will be who we are and do what we want no matter what. I will try my hardest to raise him to be better but In all reailty he'll be who he'll be regurdless. Now a days I think I wish I would have waited I'm going to miss my youth alot !!!! I'm also wondering what will my future hold , like will I be happier as I think I would be with Zion or resentful , I love him to death but now that I'm pregnant I know waiting was the better choice. Would I have gotten an abortion? Not in a million years but I would have protected myself. I tell every teenage girl that wants a baby to wait!! Or be prepared for a dramatic life changing experience !